In life, there are winners and there are losers. It is just one of those harsh but categorical realities that only reinforces itself with time, and is so beyond reproof it holds true even in the realm of cookies. See, for example:
and losers (with winners pointing and laughing in the background):
Actually, the real loser here was the recipe, which needs major tweaking. I was craving thin, crisp, and crunchy oatmeal cookies, which was exactly what this recipe promised. Instead, I got half a batch of crumbly, chewy oatmeal clusters and what is essentially granola. Both having a time and place but neither being what I signed up for, I will return to the drawing board, and quickly, as this botched effort has only intensified my original craving.