Warning: inappropriate garlic content

For dinner I roasted some baby bella mushrooms seasoned with salt, pepper, olive oil, and garlic.  Like a shitton of garlic, I am not kidding.  I had 9 or 10 mushrooms and used 5 garlic cloves.  None of those puny half cloves but the full shapely ones, lest you think I was punking out.  As I told my roommate, whose pupils shivered when she saw my mushrooms, “This is why I’m single.  And I love it.”  I added some leftover scrambled eggs with feta and scallions to a few of the mushrooms and finished them all with a dash of balsamic vinegar, which provided a harmonious counterpoint to the shrooms’ smoky earthiness.  In bed, the vinegar and mushroom juices made sweet love.  I adore mushrooms because they so rarely disappoint; raw, roasted, sauteed, stewed, in salad or sauce or on pizza.  I can’t recall eating a dish with mushrooms where fungi made me like the dish less.  The variety of shapes and textures, and their versatility, make them a joy to prepare and eat.  Truly one of nature’s finest gifts, alongside fruits, nuts, pigs, and a hundred others.

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